A Taste of Her Own Medicine


Nycteris prodded the mixture, which *glooped* at her. What else was there... oh yes, the squill. Now... she had one bottled up somewhere... Ah yes.

There was a sound, like a mouse hiccuping.

The squill wasn't happy about being disturbed, and it was already rather annoyed about being captured and put into a tank. It waved its tails defensively as Nycteris put a gloved hand in and scrabbled for it. Squill were notoriously slimy and hard to get a hold of as greased butter, but after a few false starts she managed to get a grip on the elusive creature.It squeaked angrily and wiggled its antennae in annoyance, but there was nothing it could do to avoid being taken over to the bubbling mixture and squeezed.

There was another hiccup and a muffled curse insinuating that a physically impossible act be performed. (Actually the curse was 'Sartorious be dammned, if I ever find him I'll strangle him with his own intestines.' which is clearly not impossible, but it is a staple of comedy that if there is someone or something with a literal viewpoint, it will be mentioned that 'they told me to perform an impossible physical act' or somesuch. And who am I to argue with comedy gold?)

"Patience, patience, it's almost done."

"I don't like it, it's looking at me."

"That's jsut the newt eyes, you've eaten worse."

"Yes, but that's when *I* was doing the cooking."

"What's wrong with my cooking?"

"The fact that it's yours."

"Zibby! Zibby! how long have we known each other?"

"Far too long."

"What? Do you think I'd take horrible, painful revenge for all those times you've poisoned me, or burned down my house or ejected me into the atmosphere... though those were kinda fun."

"Well look at what happened to the mailman."

"I SAID no junk mail! What's so hard about that!"

"Well, I do think you should let him out of that jar."

"Shush, this is good for you!"

Nycteris waited for the mixture to cool down before ladling it into a small phial and cooling it under a tap and applying a small label dictating usage, (Three drops after meals and no more.) not that the stupid bird would bother to read anything. It was a perfectly good cold remedy, at least, if you took it, you wouldn't care if you were sick.

"So... what are the poppies for?"

"Afghanistan import, all natural ingredients."

"For...?"

"Pain relief. Just take the stupid stuff."

It was a relief to be able to kick the avian out the front door. (It was what she had the cat flap installed for.) Everyone was always coming to her for remedies, just because she'd changed her last name to Weatherax. (Don't ask.) It was especially insulting to open the door and see someone standing there, only to be asked 'You're the wicked witch right? Only I heard you had more warts."

Nevermind, everything was taken care of. Now... to feed the mailman.


* * *



Aaah *NycterisA ; she was surprised to see a snack-related product sold to her contained laughing gas as a propellant. She was also surprised that here it is used quite a lot (Despite a recent ban on sales of the canistered gas due to abuse.) Apparently our food standards are a bit lax.

Our medicine standards too. Since everyone seems sick this week, I feel I need to post some eye medicine.

Lovely stuff this, it contains anhydrous morphine and opium, as well as something called Squill, which, if any of you spied on me will know that Nyc has referred to on two occasions, though she has never drawn one.

Nyc, take a sip of this, it'll cure what ails ya, and draw me a squill!